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Bigot (noun) big·ot ˈbi-gət {Merriam Webster Dictionary}
: a person who strongly and unfairly dislikes other people, ideas, etc. : a bigoted person; especially : a person who hates or refuses to accept the members of a particular group (such as a racial or religious group)
Bigotry [big-uh-tree]. Noun. Plural bigotries {Dictionary.com}
1. Stubborn and complete intolerance of any creed, belief, or opinion that differs from one’s own.
2. The actions, beliefs, prejudices, etc., of a bigot.
As I scrolled through my timeline on Facebook on the 28th day of June, 2015, I came across a post which made me do a double take. I scrolled back up and reread the post. On a normal day, I would never have dropped a comment on that post; but I did. The reason I went back to that post was because it was about one of the most trending topics that week.
It was a post about the Supreme Court of the United States’ landmark decision on legalizing gay rights to marriage. This is the post.
“#SameSexMarriage
Well, what else do you expect of a hypersexual society where nudity and sex is the norm and ‘do-do-do’ right from kindergarten to old People’s Homes?
They got bored and/or tired of their preordained opposite sexes!
And if this rule that allows same sex marriage is not reversed, soon they may get bored of their same sex spouses and may end up dating/marrying animals too.
Tir!!
May Allah SWT preserve our Iman in sticking to our opposite sexes as spouses.
Beautifully and/or perfectly as below…..”
The picture above accompanied the post. Reading it, one line caught my attention; the line about a ‘hyper-sexual society’. I was surprised that the author of the post believed that homosexuality was only as a result of a hyper-sexual society. Since I had (in the past) discussed certain issues with this author, I felt that we could rub minds. So I posted this;
“ME: Do you know that there are Arabians [sic] marrying transsexuals? Do you know that there are homosexuals in countries where nudity is not found? Where they wear Nikkab and Kaftan only? Do you know the effects of sexually repressing society? Evil persists everywhere, whether a society is hyper-sexual or having repressed sexuality.”
When I posted this, I waited to hear his reply. I got one, but it wasn’t his.
“BOY 1: I find ur logic pretty twisted…….may be we shud stop “repressing” armed robbery as well! In fact we shud live without code of conduct and allow our animal instincts dictate how we live. “Repressing”!!!”
When I saw this, I was like ‘Hol’ up! Urhhh…..what is he talking about?’ Then I replied;
“ME: @BOY 1….lol. I am glad you find my logic ‘twisted’. While you may not care about freedom, I am glad you realize that there is evil everywhere…or I hope you do. Maybe you should acquaint yourselves with the number of closeted homosexuals in countries that have….how did you put it…’code of conduct’? Covering up hasn’t prevented men (and women) from being evil; flirting, having multiple partners or even deviating by having sex with children, animals and the likes. So, while I may be ‘twisted’ in my logic, I do realize that society is innately evil and nudity or the absence of it does not make one society any better than another. Get knowledge and be balanced in your ideologies…or quite frankly, take a dive.”
Okay…I agree I was a bit harsh. I could blame it on BOY 1 commenting when he didn’t understand what I was saying, but I wouldn’t. It wasn’t long before BOY 1 returned.
“BOY 1: Take a dive?………not a chance. But besides dat, if fredoom [sic] were absolute we wouldn’t be having prisons don’t u tink?”
To which I responded;
“ME: @BOY 1…Freedom is never absolute. NEVER! I’m just saying that people should be balanced in their analysis. Quite simple if I dare say.”
“BOY 1: Balanced kuma? (‘balanced again?’ for none Hausa speakers) Am [sic] lost…….”
I realized I needed to douse the tension, so I responded with something I hoped will make him laugh.
“ME: I pray you get found.”
To which he sent a smiling smiley face. Now, as we were having this conversation, the author of the post had not said anything. But that changed after a while.
AUTHOR: Yusuf Jnr Interesting! I have missed a lot’ooo….just where have I been all these while? ‘Ramadan tinz’. Yeah……it should be just that. OK, where do I begin? Tomorrow is another day In-Shā-Allah….am gonna cool off and come back a little calmer.
From his response, I had a premonition that we weren’t going to ‘rub minds’. While he was cooling off, another friend of his came to the party.
“BOY 2: Something Ramatu something, you made your point. Now who said “Arabians” (I think you meant to say “Arabs”) were saints? Arabs are humans and there are sinners among them. But get this clearly, no ‘straight’ government in this world would do this. America is gay. Well, now technically they are. And whoever finds this post offending could be the opposite of an arrow…If you know what I mean.
Lastly, before you sing your narrow minded song about civilization [sic], and America being civilized [sic], zip it! I don’t see si.vi.ly.za.shon as sky scrapers and extreme atheism. Si.vi.ly.zay.shon is simply what it is…dunce. think about it, Summun-bukmun!”
I am sure you can imagine the look on my face when I read this post. ‘Who the flying French was this guy?’ I asked myself. He even refused to recognize my other names because they didn’t sound like what he believed, instead using ‘something’. What a laugh! I was talking about something, and he was saying something else. And since he felt he needed to correct my mistake, I was quite surprised he made some of his own. Then I saw the words ‘dunce’ and ‘summun-bukmum’. Dunce I know; the latter I didn’t. So, Google to the rescue! When I typed in the phrase, I couldn’t help but smile. Found out it was an Arabic term derived from Qur’an 2:18. The full term is “Summun bukmun umyun fahum la-yarjioon” meaning ‘Deaf, dumb and blind – so they will not return [to the right path].’ For someone who had never met me, I was worried at his ease of abuse…especially as he did not understandwhat I wrote. So…trust me to respond to him.
“ME: I see a trend here. As long as people do not share your views, it is ‘Twisted’ or ‘Narrow Minded’. I think there is a word for it…something that rhymes with lottery. Look it up. And if you cannot explain your views without resorting to insults, it tells a lot about your maturity. In the end, you were too busy making up assumptions and jumping to conclusions that you did not allow understanding to set in. So @BOY 2……next time, read (slowly) and UNDERSTAND before making rebuttals. You DO NOT know MY VIEWS on America, or any other nation for that matter. @AUTHOR….which is worse? A prostitute who is known across the city for her exploits with all sorts of men, or a ‘virgin’ who dresses well, speaks to ‘no man’, stays at home ‘all day’ but sneaks out at night to sleep with ALL sorts of men….and women, animals, things and the likes? Because it seems like that is what you are describing. Isn’t that then hypocrisy? Will GOD judge the prostitute harsher than the closeted ashawo? These are questions to answer.”
Oh! Boy did I strike a nerve! Boy 2 came back swinging!
“BOY 2: See me see wahala O. I am not here to win an argument or something. I’m trying to help you. Do tell, though, which one are you, the dyke or the ho? Because I see no damn reason why you should face me and tell me to not problems [sic! Sic! Sic!] with a male smooching a male or a female doing a female. There has to be a catch in this. What is wrong with you? All what this guy is saying is Satan will not stop. Sinning will evolve. Make up your mind what side you are on. Summun-bukmun!!”
And this time, he brought a friend.
“BOY 3: Summun-Bukmun ummyu…. She’s one of them bro… Fighting for their right n freedom. I gat something for you @O.R Ada d pix below explains it clearly. “Summun-bukmun”
“BOY 2: Can you imagine? It beats me all the time why people like her do that. Nobody hates America. It’s some of the things it’s government do that is the problem…like creating false flag operations to make a group of people look bad, make money for ammunition businesses and brainwash people like you… Like take the path to destroying their own country by legalising gay marriage. In fact if you love America you should be worried about them right now. I can unapologetically on all day with shortsighted dunces like you, dunce!” [I CANNOT DEAL WITH ALL THE ERRORS SO I WILL JUST WRITE A BIG ‘SIC’ TO COVER THE REST]
At this point, I was laughing like crazy. I had stopped being angry. I couldn’t believe that people read what they wanted to read, interpreted what they felt and colored me purple. Heck! I got called a ‘dyke’ or ‘ho’ for the parallel conversation we were having. I decided I was done. I wasn’t going to continue the discussion with people who were that jaded.
“ME: Lol. @AUTHOR….you have really GREAT friends. LMHO. Again, you did not listen @BOY 2. I’m afraid there is no hope. And thanks…if the state of your mind is even a tenth of what I have seen, you cannot POSSIBLY help me.”
Then the author comes in and totally blows my mind.
“AUTHOR: It really is getting steaming hot in here! Okay guys, chill with the hot stuffs and let us get things straighten out the softer way. Lemme start with you Ochekliye Ramatu Ada as the hell raiser here. For a lady of your cadre, I found your words contradicting.
1) “Get knowledge and be balanced in your ideologies…..”
Well done Marie Curie!
But you shouldn’t also be like “As long as people do not share your views, it is ‘Twisted’ or ‘Narrow Minded'” and ‘if you cannot explain your views without resorting to insult, it tell a lot about your maturity”….interesting! Who took the first shot here? SMH
Hence, I really have GREAT friends since they didn’t throw punches at you as well, they only feed you back your beautiful way. I wouldn’t have allow them to throw punches at you anyways….wanna hear you shooting straight on 91.1 after Ramadan without no bruises to heal. Lol.
2) Believe me, for i don’t wanna go into war of words with you now because I know exactly where it could get us to. The day I started [SIC] seeing Ochekliye Ramatu Ada as just something my cat dragged in and BOY 2 as (God forbid) someone to go out with (hope this is mild enough) is the day I OFFICIALLY become something-hauled-outta-a-pigs-dunk or less. Worst still, when my country legalize that.
Haba Ramat! RIGHTS too has boundaries!!
So take your ‘Human Right Activist’ shindig somewhere else….or quite frankly, get a life! And for you ma Gs: BOY 1 , BOY 2 and BOY 3 ……Muchas Gracias for taking my war to this lady!”
He asked his friend to back off so he could do the most damage….or so he thought. I smiled after reading it. Originally, I was surprised that he had responded that way. But on further reflection, I realized that every time we had ‘conversed’, he had shown similar traits. I shook my head and typed my final response.
“ME: @AUTHOR….today (finally), I have proof that the statement ‘Show me your friends and I can tell who you are’ is true. Praise GOD for that! I really wish you had followed the comments from the get go. But this is just typical. In all honesty, I’m not surprised. My only sorrow is that I won’t see your face when you realize that you should have read my comment before writing yours. I wish you well.”
But they were not done….
“AUTHOR: Typical Ramat, argue argue argue no ni! These ‘gay thangs’ is a ‘No Argument Thang! You should’ve just walked after your first comment here. Beside, I don’t mind people sharing their views/opinions, what I don’t like is when they start hauling intimidating words at others and be like “Wut!” when the stone got back to sender! And you too should take another look at your words here….even a kid could spot your take on this issue”
“BOY 2: My father, Mr. Y, you are Floyd Mayweayher, Donnie Yen and 007 with this dqq. Daqiqi. Help me find the gender difference and add the suffix. Better still, I think she’d done that already. And please let’s not dignify her by taking this discussion any further. If she’d told us she was for Satan earlier, we wouldn’t have wasted our time because as someone brought up in Kano, I have seen almost everything. A sha ruwa lfy,sir.”
After a while though, I wondered why we were on parallel lines, with me saying something and they understanding something else. I told a couple of my friends to read the post, my comments and the entire thing and tell me what they thought I was talking about. ALL of them came back with one answer; I said blaming the spread of homosexuality on an openly sexual society was wrong since there were societies where sex was not even discussed that had homosexuality.
When I heard this, I was relieved! There was hope in the world after all. My friends, Muslims and Christians, read the same thread and came to my point without my telling them what I meant from the beginning.
The author and his friends were so unwilling to listen that even before they understood what I was saying, they pulled out their arsenal with the plan to brow beat me, even threatening physical harm to me for having a sexuality they conferred on me. I had to be homosexual or a prostitute to dare to agree with the Supreme Court of the United States; wherever they got that belief from.
It is the same with bigots everywhere; they have views and ideologies that are so firmly rooted that any perceived difference to their views is attacked with all they have got. It is seen with religious people, among proponents of culture and tribe, with atheists and with people who claim to be ‘free spirits’. In fact, we may all be bigots!
The religious man wants to impose their god on the populace, wanting every man (and woman) to believe that theirs is the only path to a blissful eternity. The proponent of culture does not believe in the mixing of cultures, believing that their culture is supreme and pure. No wonder racism exists today in ALL continents of the earth. The atheist wants everyone to drop the idea of a ‘GOD’ because they believe that those ideas are delusions of grandeur. With the number of theories on evolution, I believe that their campaign is working effectively. And the ‘free spirit’ isn’t so free. They want everyone to just think like they do; free!
I wanted the guys to see my point of view just as much as they wanted to ‘help’ me stop being a “dyke or ho” or even ‘Satan’ himself (or herself). Bigotry seems to be naturally inherent in us all.
Having an opinion is not wrong. Having said that, anyone who is unwilling to listen to other possibilities is not just a bigot but a fanatic…and that fanaticism has given rise to the Ku Klux Klan, ISIS, al-Qaeda, Boko Haram, al-Shabab, other white supremacists and racism generally. It has also led to the death of Farkhunda, Eric Garner, Mike Brown, and many more. Other areas are communal and religious clashes, #LightSkinMovement and unnecessary deaths.
I always say this, and I am unapologetic about it. Every life matters; whether that life agrees with me, looks like me, shares my views or NOT! I see a human first…and because of that, I will not deliberately hurt that human because we have differing opinions. And on that point, I am a bigot!
4 Comments
Many of us do need to grow up. It is crazy just how intolerant we are. This is why I miss those days when we used to debate ideas in school and everyone knew it was all in the quest to learn. Now it is about fighting and throwing insults. Thanks for reading and commenting.
What I learned (sadly )about most Nigerians is that if you have differing opinions,you're an enemy and must be dealt with. That's why I hardly discuss my opinion with most of them especially on Facebook.
For me, I always want to hear other people's opinions about a particular topic and why they take that stand.
I wish more people will have open mind to discuss issues withoutthrowing insults and threats and be able to understand that you don't have to agree with their opinion , but you don't have to change them or see them as enemy for having a differing opinion.
Whole lot of people need to grow
Amen
No hard feelings because being fanatic about a cause takes out every sense of reasoning. It makes one totally blind to every other thing. May God help us.