Why Women Should Carry Their Own Condoms
Woman with CondomPicture Credit: Zenito Haven So I watched this show a while back on Ebony Life Television (ELTV). There was a voices-on-the-streets segment and the question asked was if it is okay for women to carry condoms. Many people gave varying responses but one stuck with me for days. The respondent, a very confident (albeit uneducated) man, couldn’t hide his disdain at the question. He was completely against the concept. His closing statement was what got me riled up. He went, ‘Man wey get two woman na still man but woman wey get two man na olosho.’ The first thing I thought after the red haze passed was what the correlation was between carrying a condom in one’s purse and sex work. The second thing was whether I should blame his sexism and chauvinism on his poor education. I was still thinking of this when the male anchor went in and buttressed his point. He said if he found a condom in a woman’s purse, he would assume the worst about her; that he may be the lucky guy today and another guy would be lucky tomorrow. This ‘educated’ guy couldn’t understand that finding condoms in a woman’s purse didn’t necessarily equate to having sex with her. He naturally assumed that the discovery was an invitation to sex; and it says a lot about him. I was glad when the female anchor asked him a simple question; ‘what do you thing WE think of YOU when we see condoms in YOUR wallet?’ Of course he mumbled about it being different but no one can say that wasn’t expected. Since that day, I have been thinking about the incident and mulling over it in my head. What is so wrong with a woman carrying a condom? The answer is, nothing! But before I get to that, let us think about the point of view these guys held. The expectation is that a man can be randy but a woman should not. A man can have sex with as many women as he wants but a woman who does the same has to be wanton, a whore, a slapper, easy, loose or a prostitute. Women are not supposed to be in touch with their sexuality and be sexually active. To dare to be so sexually open to carry condoms is perceived as the height of sexual depravity in a woman. The same is however not expected of a man. When a condom is found in a man’s wallet, the only worry these people have is what size he is carrying. In essence, men are expected to sexually protect themselves but women shouldn’t. Or better put, women should protect themselves only through abstinence or sticking to one partner; preferably, their husbands. This ideology is not in itself wrong as long as it is the woman’s choice but to demand that a sexually active woman not protect herself is just too much. I believe that sexually active women should carry their own condoms. Let me explain using two scenarios. 1. The one-man woman; This woman is sexually active but has only one partner. There are situations which should allow her carry her own condoms; a) She is horny, goes to see the man she is dating, they make out, he is about to slide in and bam! She notices he is isn’t wearing a coat. She asks why he isn’t and he says he has none. If she doesn’t have a condom, she is at a crossroad between going ahead, doing something else that doesn’t require penetration, getting into a fight of frustration or stopping altogether. You see how her condom can solve these problems? b) She is faithful to her partner but he is anything but. Her darling one-in-a-million man is randy for days. His excuse is that his sex drive is super crazy and to help the world, he needs to be a man-whore. Typical entitled male behavior. Thing is, without protection, he is bringing a bit of something from all the ladies he has been with to this woman who loves him. And in cases where the woman is his wife, going skinny is expected; so are her chances of contracting an infection. If this woman doesn’t protect herself, she may end up with a myriad of sexually transmitted infections. Yes, I know some of you are already asking why she stays with a Casanova but some women amaze me so… 2. The many-men woman; It is especially expedient that women who have multiple sexual partners carry their own condoms. They shouldn’t have to expect the men they have sex with decide their protection. This is where sex workers have it right. I have been told that ‘prostitutes’ – as some would call them – insist on having sex with a condom. They know they are already at risk and further putting themselves out there is not something they want to deal with. Again, before you crucify me, there will always be women who profit off sex and no matter what you say and do, they will do EXACTLY what they want. AND…where it is their choice, how e take concern you? The least of the reasons why sexually active women should carry their own condoms is unplanned pregnancies. There are so many things way worse than pregnancy; HIV, AIDS, Chlamydia, HPV, Gonorrhea, Herpes, Hepatitis, genital Warts and so many more. The risks of contracting some of these diseases can be greatly reduced by using a condom; especially for those which are transmitted via genital fluids. And with the hookup culture in many cities, it is important that we do not spread these infections. And on the flip side, the reason why women who aren’t sexually active should carry condoms is to help other women make safer sexual choices. How does this affect the woman who is chaste and is keeping herself for her husband? First off, you don’t know where your husband may have been. He could have been with that woman you branded a
Glass, Brillo, Flame & Rock.
Image: Pexels By Kabir Babiotos Glass, Brillo, Flame & Rock. The shortcut to eternal doom they say; the worst of all evil. The fast killer, the baddest bitch; crack! A dance with the devil himself, in a ballroom made of thin glass floors, best to watch your step for you might fall or better yet dare not even get in to begin with. An opulent orchestra with the most majestic tune, it’s like a sweet poison or forbidden fruit, one dares not to taste, because like Adam and Eve in that garden long before you and me, things will never be the same again; probably. In a single moment that didn’t coincidentally occur, I find myself in a parking lot. But I state for reference long before this parking lot I once found myself in a bathroom sitting on a toilet seat with the devil in my hands. All by myself I looked straight into the glass stick and at the time it looked like a long road and at the end of it was a mystic story as white as snow, small but very powerful I knew. And in my other hand was a lighter, the key that would unlock the door and lead me to this story. But this wasn’t just any story, we’ve all heard of fairy tales, fables, fantasy, myths and sagas. This one story seemed to be different, it was cryptic in nature, apart from the murkiness which was more of a cliché and being my own master of seeking pleasure in dark and twisted spaces all in the quest of my never ending savvy for the search of beauty and pleasure in all things both ravishing and grotesque, this story here seemed to be in allied balance of both; Bitter but sweet, Grand but with an abundant sprinkle of a certain kind of grim, but Angelic and Ungodly all at the same time. Adamantly Gemini, being both two sides of the coin, the Twins; zodiacal constellation between Taurus and Cancer containing the bright stars Castor and Pollux, certainly this to me would be a lush treat. And like Hansel and Gretel and the old ugly witch every treat comes with a price; give or take. I ask myself more than once if that price is worth it, trying to find a centre point to hold myself before I slip over the edge down the waterfall or jump up past the clouds above straight to the stars. Waterfall or stars each has an enticing amount of splendour but I certainly know either which way I go as long as I take this road, inevitably I will always fall right back down to the ground where I was before. It’s fast and powerful to break the barrier of time and space; that thrill! For we thrill-seekers that is. But no matter how fast the roller coaster ride is it shall definitely come to a halt, everything ends even life itself. I ask myself if to live is just enough, we’re all selfish in very many different ways, I just wanted to feel alive if only for one moment, to be anything but ordinary, this thirst is my fuel I need it to have a meaning to life, to understand it. At this point I’m beginning my first dance with the devil. To stay alive we must survive and to survive we have to cross all sorts of bridges all in our paths. Some of these plights are probably illusions created in our already messed up heads but we live in our heads most of the time, so to ignore this would take deep inner strength but for the odd ones like us who would rather take the frame of its hinges and look at the wall behind it when told to look beyond the picture, where we know there is either a puzzle, wonder or misfortune, the unknown mystery. At certain points in my life I feel like a David and Goliath comes to me at different points in different forms and proportions. To succeed David had to take Goliath head on with only a slingshot in hand and all he wanted to do was succeed; he had to but what if he didn’t? Little or nothing about him would have gone down in history. DISCLAIMER! I do not intend to go down or up in history like David or Goliath but my life is my story and I have the right to make choices good or bad, but at the end I hope it leads me to a good place. And getting there isn’t necessarily a smooth or easy ride but if the price is worth it everyone just wants to be happy. “Happy” the thought of the word gives me a slight tingle up my spine & my fingers stop trembling. I stare at this devil in my hand straight in the eye, put its lips on mine, my fingers bracing it tight in a stylish embrace that sort of looks like that of a classic waltz, I lift my glass stick upwards towards the sky (or bathroom ceiling) and with a single spark of blue and yellow flame I embark on my journey, my very first dance with this very much harshly talked about devil. At point of ignition my eyes are halfway shot as if an unexpected wind were about to gush on my face not knowing whether to keep them open or closed for this first deadly kiss. Slowly I suck this kiss into me and almost instantly in can see that splendour. It’s vague, fast and I can’t completely comprehend which one it is, the waterfall or the clouds. I can hear my heartbeat like the drums, the sizzle and crackling noise from the rock is like a variance of string instruments, this dance has officially begun and I can’t turn back now. My eyes are fixed on the flame that is burning at the opposite tip of the glass stick
Chrysalis
Image: Discover Magazine By Abe Onche Think of me again as a new creation As the time of rebirth heralds itself And as I contemplate the vast potentials Of a new year, a new life With each new day we are born again As much as the sun’s face Differs from one hour to the next And perhaps we do not feel it But the shadows of change Are seen best at dawn and dusk Rebirth is as real as we choose We reason, recount, repent, resolve To surpass our heroes, our ideals The student who seeks mastery To be a master of oneself It is because we choose to see our fate That we are able to make our destiny So do not take lightly these moments of rebirth Weigh well the life in your years, recount them While it may seem we merely add numbers To a journey toward the inevitable That number is also a birth: moulded, tainted Like the smoothest pottery or the stained glass
The Rising Cost of Sanitary Pads
Sanitary Pad Image: Live Strong When you are a team of mainly women, you have to deal with many issues that generally affect you. One of such issues is our menstrual cycle. This affects us at least once every month. Yes, we used the word ‘affects’ because it does and because our cycle is a 28-day cycle, there is always the chance that we ‘see’ our periods twice in one more month. Anyway, we are not here to lecture. We are here to rant. So first question; how many people have had to buy sanitary pads at ₦400 since December, 2016? We can see your hands in the air. Are you as pissed the hell off as we are? Because we are mad! (Okay! Breathe. This post can’t be laced with expletives when you have only begun. So calm the hell down and write). Okay. We are calm now. Let us do this properly. So the price of sanitary pads recently went up by over a hundred percent. We will use Always Sanitary Pad for our example. The premium pads come in packs of seven or eight for small packs and sixteen for big or super packs. The small packs used to be sold for ₦170. It went up to ₦220 and later, a ₦30 increase. Now, it is sold at ₦400. The super packs now go for ₦800 and it is pegged to get to ₦1000. In one sentence, the end is near! For people who do not get it, let us explain a bit. A woman who has light flow can afford to use one small pack during her period if she has a four day flow and uses one pad in the morning and another at night. The ideal is one pad every eight hours but we are assuming that since her flow is light, she may not need to change as much. A lady with normal flow may have to change her pad every six – eight hours, meaning that if she has a four-day flow, she needs to use the super pack for her monthlies. While most women fall into this category, a vast number of women fall into the heavy flow category. These women have to change their pads as often as once every three hours; translating to one small Always Pad per day. Collating that gives four packs if she has a four-day flow. So using the example above, we can infer that women spend the following for their monthly menstrual cycle. TYPE OF FLOW NUMBER OF DAYS DURATION OF PAD USE (HOURS) NUMBER OF PADS/DAY TOTAL NUMBER OF PADS TYPE OF PAD COST (₦) LIGHT 4 12 2 8 ONE 8-IN-1 PACK 400 NORMAL 4 6 4 16 TWO 8-IN-1 PACK 800 HEAVY 4 3 8 32 FOUR 8-IN-1 PACK 1600 Of course these are all estimates as there are women who bleed for more than four days. Why is this an issue? Well simple. Women menstruate every month and for most part, it isn’t a choice. We have to deal with pain or discomfort or the stress of having our hormones go haywire and then between three to seven days, our uterus makes us feel like we were bad for not giving it a baby. The only way out is getting pregnant (which is only a nine month reprieve), using drugs or menopause. You can see that our periods are not a luxury; they are a necessity! Why then should the price of sanitary pads be so expensive? Is our menstruation a thing of luxury now? Is it necessary that the law of demand and supply apply here? And in a country where many girls don’t have access to sanitary pads, is it wise to alienate even more girls and women? We want to know because this rankles. To make matters worse, some men have told us to go back to using rags or clothe pads. Some have even suggested we use banana leaves (we kid you not). While we want to pull our collective shoes and beat the brakes off these men, we will try not to. The general belief is that our mothers did it so why shouldn’t we? First off, our mothers used pads, not clothes. We learned the use of pads from them. However, even if they did, it is no reason to continue to do that now just because. Some of our parents drank camel urine for certain ailments. Do YOU do that now? Some people even went as far as saying it is not a national problem but a women’s problem. My question to such people is this; if something affects half the population of a country, doesn’t that qualify as a national problem? Oh! We forgot. We are Africans. Women don’t matter, right? Anyway, our hygiene during and after our menstrual cycle is very important to us and, it shouldn’t cost us so much to keep ourselves clean when we bleed. We hope that Procter and Gamble, producers of Always Sanitary Pads (Nigeria) can lead the pack and bring the price back down. They are already making a lot of money as it is and it is almost unfair to have to ask for more. We know that almost everything now can be blamed on the recession but we hope that this phase passes quickly. And if they refuse to reduce the price, we should begin to think of an alternative. We heard of reusable cloth pads for the first time yesterday and though the idea sounds yucky, we will be forced to switch if we are forced to. The customer is always king. If we band together to hold Procter and Gamble and other pad producers accountable, they will have to do the right thing. A woman’s sanitary needs are not a luxury. They shouldn’t be treated as such. Reusable and Re-washable pads.Image: AliExpress
5 Things You Probably Didn’t Know Were Invented by Black People
Credit: All Events Black people are awesome and many times, we don’t get the credit we deserve. All through history, we have always created or contributed to the creation of ingenious inventions for the advancement of human kind. In this podcast, we look at 5 things you probably didn’t know were invented by black people. Find out more in the clip below and share with us other inventions you know were invented by black people. If we don’t celebrate ourselves, who will? If you cannot see the audio controls, your browser does not support the audio element
Uduak-Obong Jackson: Writing Against Suicide
Uduak-obong JacksonImage: Uduak’s Facebook Profile We are amazed by the awesomeness that is Uduak-obong Jackson. Uduak-obong is from Akwa Ibom state, Nigeria. She is a creative Writer and spoken word Poet. She is a graduate of Nassarawa State University where she studied Sociology. As the first child (and only girl) in a family of six, Uduak learned responsibility and empathy for the struggles that mired the lives of many people. Though her experiences – from family, friends and school – were simple and for the most part, fun, Uduak knew there was more to life than what she was experiencing. As if to reinforce her thoughts, someone in her neighborhood committed suicide. ‘I used to think suicide was something that never happened in this part of the world but to my surprise, sometimes last year, a young guy killed himself in my area. It was really shocking because no one would expect that from an average Nigerian.’ Uduak began to do some research and realized that ‘there has been numerous cases of suicides in the country and most times no one says a thing about it.’ That was when she made up her mind to talk about it. Uduak started the #iWriteAgainst campaign where she discussed varying issues. She has been campaigning about the issues that predispose young people to suicide, with focus on the need to discuss mental health and suicide prevention. She knew that it was a huge task and doing it alone was almost impossible. Uduak then asked friends to support the campaign. The response was massive! People from everywhere – family, friends, acquaintances and even people she didn’t know – quickly joined the campaign and sent out pieces using the hashtags, #iWriteAgainst and #iWriteAgainstSuicide. Her biggest hope was that the campaign would be effective in reaching people who had suicidal thoughts. She hoped someone would read the posts and be inspired not to take their lives. And it did. ‘I’ve gotten messages from people telling me how their close friends who were having suicidal thoughts have been bold enough to open up after coming across some of the write-ups from the campaign. I’ve also had the chance to talk with some who actually attempted suicide.’ Uduak plans to grow the platform into something bigger and more capable of helping people with suicidal thoughts in more ways that writing. Known by her friends as Slimzy Jackson, she maintains her drive by being simply caring. We admire Uduak-obong Jackson for her work. She is a black girl and she rocks! Uduak-obong JacksonImage: Uduak’s Facebook Profile
SHADES OF US: UNVEILING OUR NEW LOOK
Hey. So we have been making some noise about changes we want to make and the time is finally here. First off, happy New Year! Weird right? We celebrate our new year on our founder’s birthday instead of January 1 like other normal people do. We think that our Founder, Ramatu Ada Ochekliye, is pretty stubborn about her unwillingness to celebrate major events and holidays. We think she is weird but if she is reading this (and we are hoping that she is too tied up with the number of people sending her wishes), we want you to know that we love you! Happy birthday Boss lady! Now that we are done keeping our jobs, we are excited to announce some major changes to our platform. First off, starting from today, we are no longer SHADES OF BROWN NIGERIA. We got married and following tradition, we had to change our names. From now henceforth, we decree and declare that we shall be addressed by our new name; SHADES OF US! (Why thank you. Thank you. No need for the flowers and underwear. It is just a name change). So how did we arrive at this? It was through a very long and windy road. When we started SHADES OF BROWN NIGERIA, we wanted to discuss issues affecting ALL black people; from the lightest albino to the darkest person. We chose to use BROWN instead of BLACK because it was the mid color and because the earth is brown. We wanted to show that we are as beautiful as the earth and we are fertile, supportive, enduring, powerful, angry sometimes and so much more. When we went searching for the name, there were lots of companies bearing SHADES OF BROWN and because we were sure that is the name we wanted, we added Nigeria; even though our scope was bigger than that. But we knew that when we were ready to get our own website (and stop being cheapskates and freeloaders), the name might become a problem. We even got some busybodies people who told us that we were using another’s name and we knew it had to change. So we started cracking our brains to see what could still embody the essence of our platform. After much debate and bouncing the name around, we decided that we like the ‘SHADES OF’ part and wanted to keep it. The last word became the issue. Since we were talking about issues that affected us, we decided to go with the obvious; US. When we decided to pay for our own domain, SHADES OF BROWN was unavailable (as expected) but SHADES OF US was; though we could only get the .co.uk domain. We paid for it and we were ready to go! Another problem came up and we realized that many people were using Shades of Us too. We were like, ‘suck it!’ We were done trying to be the good guys. Moreover, if it was such a problem, we wouldn’t have been allowed to pay for the name. Abegee! Ain’t nobody got time for that! Having done that, we knew we were going to be making some big changes so we proceeded to change our social media handles and design a tentative logo. See, let us start warning you! Don’t laugh at our small design; it will get better jare. Kizzes! Also, having run the podcast and vlog for a year – albeit inconsistently – we came to the conclusion that keeping the podcast on Podbean was not viable and we let our subscription expire. This meant losing all our subscribers and even all the content we put up. Not to worry; from now on, we will feature the podcast on the blog and it will still have the same feel. We are also going to embed our video logs in the blog so all our content can be found on one site. You will also see that our new look is more dynamic and easier for navigation. You will not have to flip page after page to get to a particular post. You know we like you yeah? Eventually, as we develop, we will categorize our posts for even better navigation. We will also bring you more interviews with people who are trying to change the African narrative and whose work are gradually shaping minds for a better Africa and a better world. This year, we are opening the blog up to guest posts. We want to move from being a one-person-idea to a family of shared experiences. We want to see the Africa you see and share the problems that weigh you down. This means that you can send us posts, poems, long read, scripts, quotes, illustrations, pictures, movies and the likes. We know people like to be paid and we have to put this out there now; we cannot pay anyone. What we will do is appreciate consistent contributions with small gifts that wouldn’t break the back of the camel. We also want to be more hands-on with our work this year. We want to move from talking about the issues to solving some of these problems one person at a time. This means that we will create programs for the people we care about the most; women, children, orphans, people from dysfunctional homes, the abused, the disadvantaged in the society, the physically and mentally disabled, the poor and so much more. We believe that it is no longer enough to just talk about the problems that affect us. We MUST do something if we are to create any form of change. The onus lies on us. As a result, we will seek and form partnerships with organizations that have similar goals and core values and we will work towards creating the change we want to see. Right now, we will be working with SAVE OUR WOMEN FOUNDATIONand WOMEN REGAINING VALUE. We will also be glad to work with foundations you think are geared towards changing the narrative
Minding Your Business
Image: Trust Tru Katsande for Unsplash One of our previous posts, ACCEPT YOUR HUSBAND LIKE THAT, received some praise, a healthy discussion and some backlash. We were very happy! If we have people talking about the issue, we must have done a good job. But before we tell you more about our glee, let us discuss some of the issues raised. In one instance, we were told that it was disrespectful to talk about a religious leader in that light. In another, we were told that our view point was taken out of context. But the one that got us cracking the most was when we were told to ‘mind our business.’ Rather than do that, we set up a poll on Twitter and got even more anger. Some people wanted us to just mind our business. That was the one we really wanted to get into. Look at the poll we did. Two of the people who commented seemed very angry when telling us to can it. We burst out in laughter when we saw ‘meddlesome interloper’ and then the irony hit us. These people were so busy telling us to mind our business that they forgot they were committing the same faux pas; not minding theirs. They scrolled through their timeline, saw the tweets, read and understood them, got riled up, decided to respond, PROCEEDED to respond (and in some cases, respond again). You see that ‘minding your business’ would have gone more like, ‘scroll through timeline, see tweets, read and understand, probably get riled up (or not), decide it is not your business, continue scrolling through your timeline.’ That would have been Minding Your Business 101. And while we are a team of really crazy people, we decided to be respectful in our responses to these people. Where we would have bust a cap in the responders’ behinds, we decided to file it under ‘Peeves of growing a readership’. But the interaction got us thinking. Does anyone ever mind their business? We think not. From the busiest people to those who are just chilling in the Bahamas, there seems to be the need to know what is happening with other people and form an opinion about it. That is why the US Stock Exchange, even in the time of stability, monitors what is happening with the Asian Stock Exchange. It is another reason why an Arsenal fan keeps up with teams in the Bundesliga, La Liga, Serie A, Ligue 1 and Eredivisie. It is also why religious adherents of different faiths wonder why the other group does what it does or why we click on those ‘29 more pictures’ on Facebook. Deep down, we believe that these events (that are seemingly not our business) affect us in one way or the other. In some cases, they do. In others, we are far removed. That is why a husband’s disdainful treatment of his wife is our business and why a possible insubordination by a wife was the business of those who commented. The myth of minding your business is then just that; a myth. There is almost no one who minds their business all the time. Even monks who are ensconced in monasteries high atop mountains still come out once in a while to affect the communities surrounding them. The need to know and be a part of something that may or may not affect you is why many businesses flourish across the globe. It is that need that makes us eavesdrop on people talking in the bus or watch those two conductors fight. It is also that need that has led to revolutions globally for better lives for people. But this is why many things are our business; 1. The World Bank reports that ‘51% of African women accept that being beaten by their husbands is justified if they either go out without permission, neglect the children, argue back, refuse to have sex or burn the food.’ While this goes against EVERY human rights, it is the ‘mind your business’ mentality that makes women feel they are deserving of such. If women are taught that it is unacceptablefor a man to hit them, whether he is their husband or not, then this appalling statistic will come crashing to the lowest figures; 2. Though greatly under-reported, it is estimated that 35% of women globally and up to 70% of women in some countries have been raped at least once. This can be found the 2016 UN Women ‘Facts and Figures: EndingViolence against Women’. We refuse to be silent with such staggering facts because we have been – and may again be – victims of this. We talk about it in collaboration with other bodies to see how this can be reduced. This means that if we hear that a husband rapes his wife, we call for justice regardless of the fact that he is her husband; 3. There are an estimated 414 million people living in extreme poverty across Africa. That is a whopping 48.5% of the population. This is according to The Borgen Project of 2010. And though we are middle class Africans, it is no reason to ignore such a deplorable state because it does not affect us. The Borgen project also reports on malnourishment, people living without electricity, lack of access to clean water, number of refugees as a result of war, maternal mortality, malaria, child marriage and women’s access to school. These are all issues we are passionate about even though we haven’t suffered some of the debilitative effects; 4. The Global Education Monitoring (GEM) Report of UNESCO for 2014 shows that across Africa, 28 million girls between the ages of 6 and 15 are not in school and many will never even set foot in a classroom. This is alarming. And it is why we support the No Girl Left Behind Project. We want EVERY GIRL to be educated and to maximize her potential in her community. And if a girl doesn’t want to do so, we believe it SHOULD BE HER CHOICE ENTIRELY
Zion Oshiobugie: From House Boy to Entrepreneur
Zion OshiobugieCEO, Clever Minds Integrated ServicesCredit: Nairaland Let us talk about Zion Oshiobugie, shall we? Zion is an entrepreneur, teacher, and On-Air-Personality with Crown 89.9 FM, Warri. He is the CEO of Clever Minds Integrated Services, a consultancy firm offering training and educational services to the public in the same city and its environs, aided by fifteen employees working in three learning centres. Zion was born in Kaduna State, Nigeria, to a middle class family. He is the second of five children. He lived a reasonably simple and content life until things changed. His father lost his job. When living became progressively hard, especially in light of the constant religious and political crisis that plagued Kaduna State, Zion and his family had to move to Warri. His mother became a petty trader and each of his siblings had to work. Zion carried blocks and helped his mother sell her plantains. He eventually became a houseboy for a distant relative. It was during this period that he made the resolve to be rich. He worked hard to put himself through The Petroleum Training Institute where he studied Electrical Electronics Engineering. He got his idea to start up Clever Minds Integrated Services while working for a private secondary school in Warri. He noticed the lack of quality education in the poor riverine communities in the Niger Delta and knew he had to do something about it. At that time though, he could not implement the idea because of a lack of funds. And to make matters worse, he lost his job. Zion wanted to commit suicide. He knew what poverty was, how it tasted and what it could do to one’s mind and he definitely didn’t want to go back to that place. Suicide seemed like a sensible plan but after some months of depression, he was able to snap out it. This crucial moment made him decide not to be a job seeker but a problem solver. The idea of Clever Minds flitted back to him and he decided the time was right. He started his first school in Edjeba Community in Warri and had just two people; himself and his first student. That didn’t dissuade Zion at all. He was providing quality education at a very cheap rate and he knew if he quit, the town might never get the education it needed. Guess what? He stuck to it and things began to pick up. In 2015, the glass ceiling finally broke. Zion applied for – and got into – the Tony Elemelu Foundation Entrepreneurship Program. The Tony Elumelu Entrepreneurship Programme, with $5,000 seed capital, a 12-week training and mentorship phase as well as other resources including networking and a 3-day boot-camp attended by policymakers and investors was like the cherry to Zion’s hard work. In his words; “Formerly, I had one learning center in Kosini but after Tony Elumelu Foundation Entrepreneurship Programme, I now have two more learning centers and I’m planning to open another one in Benin this year. The Tony Elumelu Foundation Entrepreneurship Programme has changed my story. Personally, the Tony Elumelu Foundation Entrepreneurship Programme has made me a public speaker because I gradually became a celebrity in Delta state when people discovered I was selected for the Tony Elumelu Foundation Entrepreneurship Programme. I have been invited to speak about this in over 20 gatherings.” Zion’s goal is to educate over 20 million children in the next 20 years and “to use education as a tool to end poverty and joblessness”. For about N3,000, he is providing education, vocational training, entrepreneurship training, and leadership training at the three centres being run by his company. So far, Zion and the Clever Minds Integrated services have trained over 500 students in various fields. From being a houseboy, flirting with suicide and now being a CEO, it is worthy of note that hard work and the right support system helps people achieve their dreams and better than that, people who achieve their dreams are better able to influence and improve society. Zion Oshiobugie is one of such people and we are proud to make him our man crush today. More photos here.
Accept Your Husband Like That
Thought Catalog for Unsplash I have hashed a lot about the place society has relegated women to and while this is one of them, it is slightly different. So let us get into it. I was at a leadership summit recently. It was put together by a church and while I would not normally attend a church program, I keep my reservations aside when it is a leadership training. The resource person is well traveled, known and respected. His knowledge on effective leadership was mind-blowing and I was impressed…until he spoke about his wife. He bragged about his control over his wife, telling us how she studied a rare field of engineering and graduated with awesome grades. He went further to tell us that his wife had her Masters in Strategic Management and was one of the top in her class. I was impressed with his adulation until the next words flowed out of his mouth. ‘I told her I promised God everyone in my household would serve him and I made her keep those degrees because serving God is more important. Rather than go out there to work, she is teaching God’s word like I am.’ I was like, what the flying hell?! Can’t she serve God by applying her knowledge to improving her community? But that was just the beginning. He said that even though she was brilliant in her field, she didn’t need to apply her strategic management anywhere but their home. Yes! He said that. He said he is the head of their family and everything he wants has to be obeyed! Again, he said that! He continued by saying that if she makes any money, she brings all of it to him so he can give it back to her. He said even when he gives her carte blanche to do whatever she wants with HER MONEY, she still submits it all to him so that he can dole it back out to her. By this time, I was fuming. But…It got progressively worse. The man said because he travels a lot and sees a lot of women with different styles and looks, he said — and I am quoting him here — that he even picks the hairstyles that his wife wears. He said that before she sets off to the salon, he tells her exactly what style to do and she has to do just that. And when he gets attracted to other women, he would replicate what was attractive in that woman onto his wife, instead of ‘committing adultery’. He told men to take a leaf from his playbook and instead of cheating, ‘copy and paste’ what they want in those other women to their wives. The way I see it, isn’t it fucking the other woman without actually touching her? He then directed his focus to women. Trust me; I need to quote this one. ‘Women, you keep saying you will fix your hair the way you want. For those of you who think this, continue oh! Don’t ask us what we want. Allow that secretary that has the new hair we like become more interesting.’ In essence, if you didn’t do what your husband wants, you should not be surprised that another woman gets (and keeps) his attention. He also urged women to accept their husbands just as he is because he was doing his best to make the family better. She shouldn’t nag, and should always be supportive and submissive. I was turned off by the speech and I wanted to shut him out. But for the sake of balance, I tried to give him the benefit of doubt. I hoped he would tell us how husbands MUST DO what their wives want if they were to keep her interested. It never came. I am talking three days of training, with roughly seventeen hours split into five sessions. Not ONCE in this time frame did he say anything about men doing what their wives want. But in all five sessions, he mentioned over and over again why women — wives — MUST OBEY THEIR HUSBANDS because he is the head of the house and MUST DO ALL THE MAN WANTS if he is to stay interested and faithful. So here was an internationally acclaimed leadership facilitator who didn’t even get it right in his own home; a man who felt wives MUST obey their husbands (even if it meant rendering their education useless), and a man who made his wife dress up like the women he was attracted to so he can still cheat without the hassles of staining his reputation. This same man believes that wives should submit their earnings to their husbands so he can dole out parts of it back to her. All I could see was a narcissistic, misogynistic control freak who isn’t ashamed to show the world how bad his attitude towards women is. You would almost wonder why he was teaching in a church, but I am pretty sure he would say the Bible gave him that assurance; after all, there is a whole chapter on the perfect wife — and her duties — in Proverbs, isn’t there? And though I learned a whole lot about effective leadership in the work place or within an organization, I couldn’t maintain respect for the facilitator in light of his blatant disrespect for women (in general) and his wife (in particular). But this is more than me. What do you think of this man and his ideologies? Do you think women should only work in capacities approved by their husbands? Should women submit their salaries or earnings to their husband? And when women realize that they have such husbands, should they just ‘accept their husbands like that’? I really would like to hear what you think of this.
