Here is Why You should Subscribe to My Channel…Even though it is a Mess Now
My Vlog. Sigh. I started my video log in early 2016 as a way to put a face to my online persona and hopefully reach more people. But it wasn’t until I got a rude awakening at the end of 2015 that I began to think of my vlog. Settle in. I’ve got gist. I was a television presenter at a budding television station in the North Eastern part of Nigeria. I had been working as a radio presenter in the same corporation when I was invited for a screen test for the breakfast show of the station. At that point, it was the opportunity of a life time. You know how you don’t know you wantsomething but as soon as it is given to you, you immediately know that is what you need? Yeah! That was me! I was gleefully nervous but eager to try. After ten minutes of screening, they figured out that I could read the prompter and follow the direction of the camera; like a natural. I was told to resume work on Monday. Since it was a show that handled topical national issues, I went in with a brand of presentation that was heavy on getting to the fact of the matter. I researched each topic and prepared questions designed for context and clarity. I also had a penchant for asking tough questions; not necessarily because I wanted to be controversial but because I wanted to really know what was happening. I believed that if I understood the issue, then my audience would too. What was different about my style was that I didn’t defer to powerful people; even though I was dirt poor and could easily be crushed. If I didn’t like a person or a story been spun, you would know! And I didn’t like a lot of politicians! So, many times, I came out as brusque. You have to understand that I was working in a community where women were expected to be mild mannered and have little or no opinions. With me, that was impossible. I maintained my professionalism – whatever that was at that time – but if you think of a slightly toned down Maupe Ogun, you had my TV personality. From Left to Right: Me, Aaron Isaac and representatives of the Adamawa State Electricity Distribution Company on Safiya Breakfast Show. In October 2015, I had a run in with a top politician which led to my removal from the show. Okay…maybe I had a couple of those but this one had smoke coming out of the man’s ears. Let me put this into context. There were four of us who anchored the show. Two of them were mild mannered and very courteous to guests. Almost too courteous, I thought. The last person was so eager to be controversial that he deliberately sought out taboo topics on air. If he was doing it for knowledge sake, it could have been understood. But he was doing it for laughs and he and I didn’t work well together. Even though that was the case, Mr. Controversial and I were paired a lot on the show. The day we had the run in that broke the camel’s back was terse and one where I kept wondering why we were on the show together. We had a guest who was from a royal family in Adamawa State and an opposition political party stalwart. We were supposed to be talking about basic governance in the State and region. The show was going awry with some of the questions being asked by Mr. Controversial. I didn’t feel they had any baring on the topic of discussion. Unbeknownst to me, there was a lot of bad blood between our guest and many other powerful people in the community and those questions were deliberately asked to irk them. As soon as we got off air, we were told that we had set off a couple of fires and molten magma was heading our way. I didn’t know what it was that I had supposedly done, so I was cool. Plus, I cross-checked my questions and saw that none of them was trigger worthy beyond regular fact checking. My co-anchor was skittish but acting macho. The consensus was that we shouldn’t have asked certain questions. They went on and on. All the talk didn’t come from our producers, so I couldn’t be bothered. I went home…and missed the magma. Turns out all hell broke loose, drama was delivered, people were threatened, powerful men spread their wings and lots of begging followed to soothe frayed nerves. Then the hammer came. We were to be booted off the show. I received a call a day later informing me of the decision. When I went to the office the day after my removal, I saw that our replacement was so politically correct, that it bordered on arse kissing. Was this what they wanted me to be doing? Should I stroke the egos of powerful men to stay afloat? I scoffed! At that point, I knew that even if I was called back to the show, I wouldn’t do it. I neededto be true to myself but even more than that, I could not kiss anyone’s arse. I am too proud and pig-headed for that. Interviewing Professor Oluremi Sonaiya and Abdullahi Bulla, 2015 Nigerian presidential aspirant and National Treasurer (respectively) of KOWA Party This was when I decided that I was going to leave the station. Many things had come together to make me jaded about my stay in Adamawa State and I just wanted an opportunity to start over. I thought of going back to Kaduna State but remembered why I left in the first place. (I will find time to share that story, but not today). Then I thought about Abuja and wondered if it was the town for me. My mother lived in Abuja, there was opportunity for creatives and I would be close to home (Kaduna) if
The Birth of a Podcast
Crystal Starr with a MicrophoneGIF: Giphy February 7, 2013. Time, 5:25pm. I was in the ‘corpers’ lodge thinking of what I was going to have for dinner. I was low on cash and had been pretending I was on a fruit diet. That day however, I knew I couldn’t eat one more piece of fruit without going stark raving mad. As I pondered on whether to get Indomie or go to another corps member’s room to stylishly ‘beg’ for food, my phone rang. ‘What are you doing?’ Frama Ambrose. My boss in church. Or in plain terms, the head of our protocol unit. ‘Nothing much.’ ‘Get ready. I am coming to pick you in ten minutes. You are going to be on radio.’ I was shocked! Where was this man coming from? Who told him I could talk on radio? What was I going to talk about in the first place? The only coherent excuse I could come up with was, ‘I don’t have what to wear’. After a minute of laughter, he responded by saying, ‘It is radio. Nobody is going to see you.’ And that was how it began. That day, I was a guest on Campus 360, a show designed for students in tertiary institutions and the coolest show (at that time) on FM Gotel, 91.1. It was anchored by Stanley Innocent (another boss of mine). I can’t remember what we talked about that day but Stanley must have liked what he heard. He invited me for the next episode. I was so enamored of the show that I got my homie – Shade Opeyemi – to join in. We became regular features on the show. Like most things I love, I began to treat it like it was my project. I was doing research for the shows, talking to people about it and developing myself as I went. Stanley told me to understudy Toolz of The Beat FM and I fell in love with her style. She was sharp, witty, intelligent, fun and awesome. I wanted to be like her! It didn’t take me long to realize that I couldn’t but…I will get to that soon. A little over a month after my debut on Campus 360, the supervisor of the FM unit – Madam Chika Ngalome – asked that Shade and I come in for a meeting. She said she liked how we sounded and wanted to know if we would be willing to host a lifestyle program called StandOut. Shade and I said yes quickly. We were excited! Who would have thought we would have our own show on radio?! We were just two corps members who studied the sciences and we (probably) never imagined a life behind the microphone! And so we started. The show didn’t take off with the listeners because it was a bit abstract. We were talking fashion and lifestyle on radio and quite frankly, those two genres are better translated visually. Some topics hit more than others but it wasn’t so much. We got Azeezat Usman and Ololade Abdulkareem (my love) to join us on the show. We introduced new segments and tried to make it as relatable as possible. Honestly, I think it was a hard sell because I didn’t believe in the things I was talking about. Makeup? Didn’t wear them. Hair? Barely did mine. Clothes? I wore whatever was on the top of my box. I was just the wrong person for the show. But I loved it! I loved it so much that even though listeners weren’t connecting to the show, I kept at it. Then Rinji Kwarkas, one of the co-anchors on Campus 360 said to me, ‘Girlfriend. If you want to be taken seriously in this station, you need to be on one the flagship shows.’ These shows were Morning Splash (that handled topical issues) and Gotel Lunchbox, the station’s prime time entertainment show. I need to explain why Rinji made that statement. Everyone working on the shows I was on were all freelance presenters; we weren’t getting paid. We were basically doing it because we loved what we did. We wanted a platform and one was given to us. I was nearing the end of my service year with no prospects of what I was going to be doing afterwards. By this point, I knew I was going to stay on in Yola and run my blog but I needed something for money. So I knew I couldn’t do freelance anymore. I had to get paid! As the universe would have it, Madam Chika needed more Duty Continuity Announcers and asked if I would be interested. And Peter Cheman Koti, the person who produced and presented the flagship shows, had previously asked if I wanted to be on his show; to which I said no. I thought it was too much for me but as my monthly source of income started to dry out, I knew I needed to listen to Rinji. So I spoke to Peter and got on Lunchbox. He gave me a day to host the show and Carte Blanche to design it as I wanted. He shouldn’t have done that. (LOL) I completely switched his style and created my own thing. I only played songs off the billboard hot 100 charts, created some segments like How Smart Are You and Northern Flavor – the only instance I played Nigerian songs on my show – and music star profiling. My show was fun! I connected to a new audience that loved global pop culture, hip hop, R’n’B and celebrity gist. So Mondays and Wednesdays were for Nigerian sound, Tuesday (my day) was for international sound and Thursdays was a mixed of both worlds, anchored by Abdullahi Ahmed. Speaking of Abdul (as he was called by everyone), we hosted a couple of shows together and had good chemistry on air. It was a no brainer that when I finally decided to do the breakfast show – Morning Splash –
The Hopes of a Magazine…the Reality of a Blog.
I always wanted to own a magazine. I grew up reading Hints and Hearts until I was introduced to Reader’s Digest and Vogue. Who am I kidding? I used to read every magazine I came across; whether it was Sports Illustrated, Time, Watch Tower(yes! I read that!) or something really obscure. I spent time looking at the cover, the design, the layout before I even looked at the stories. And when I got to the stories, I would take just as much time to digest them and imagine my life in them. It was my desire to own a magazine. And a TV Station. And a film company. All while being a neurosurgeon and working with the United Nations to save lives. (I know! Overambitious!) My desire was so great that in my teens, I joined a gospel group – Crystals Family – where I was soon made the director of Da’scribes. Da’Scribes were the writers in the group. It wasn’t long before I was planning a launch of a magazine. I got people to send in pictures, stories, poems, song lyrics, jokes, puzzles and more in my quest to get content for the magazine. I spent hours on end designing prototypes of the magazine and even went further to interview people for our signature edition. It was all love and passion until it was time to produce. We realized that we were just a bunch of poor kids with big dreams. And bring dreams didn’t happen without money. We couldn’t afford to raise…was it ₦50,000 then… to get our copies out. Our inability to raise the money, plus our raging teenage hormones, got us easily burned out. The dream started to die; for many. Not for me though. That was my baby. So I kept the files, checking up on them every once in a while to remind myself that it could still happen. It was so bad that whenever I wanted to travel, I went with those files, believing that as soon as I ‘blew’, the magazine was going to go up. I am slightly ashamed to say that as I write now, those same files are right now in a bag on my wardrobe; beaten by time, slight mold and crushed dreams. By 2010, I knew the magazine business, especially the production of hard copies, was a dying trade. The quick uptake of the internet (read social media) meant that producing hard copies of readable material was like dancing in quicksand; you were going to drown in debt. I remember the first day I saw a Kindle with my friend Wuese. I was fascinated! What was this sorcery?! I could read a whole book from a device?! I was shocked. And then I wasn’t. Technology was taking over everything! And true to form, the magazines began to go online. Bellanaija was leading the pack in Nigeria for lifestyle. Linda Ikeji was replacing City People and all the other salacious magazines we used to turn to for gossip. Even the big names – Vogue, Elle, Ebony, O! – were all using teasers online to get people to buy their magazines. Newspapers? They followed suit! New York Times, Washington Post, even our Guardian, Thisday, Leadershipall knew that if they remained hardcopy issues, they were going to lose relevance and go bankrupt. I knew my dreams of owning a magazine, especially hard copy, had passed. So I joined the bandwagon and thought more about the online space than the paperback one. I started writing on Facebook until my friend Charles said, ‘Girl, you need to put your thoughts in a blog’. And that was how Shades of Us was birthed. The magazine was finally going to happen; but in a different format. I started out writing pieces about my frustration with how women and children were treated. Then I remembered how I used to write fiction during my boring classes to pass the time. And I thought to myself, why the hell not?! The first fictional story I wrote was corny for days. I wrote about love at a time when I wasn’t even into the love thing. And it was a hit! People connected to the story and shared their thoughts with me. They were surprised that a person who was so anti-mush could write something so mushy. It was funny because I knew I wasn’t feeling those emotions so I tried to live vicariously through my characters. As more people liked it, I knew that I was going to be doing fiction often. Anybody who has read my work can tell I have three voices; logical, eccentric and angry. That is because I write based on my personalities; Remimah, who prides herself on being a class act and always wants to be in charge of stuff; Ramat, who is deliberately fun and crazy and weird and all that nonsense and; Ada, who is the angry black woman. So when you see me use ‘we’ in a post, I actually mean me, myself and I. It is all fun and games until keeping up with the Joneses (I am talking to you Uche Pedro) leads to massive burn out. This is why I decided to open the blog. My friends Abraham, Kendo and Toks and my cousin Babiotos have all contributed to the blog. Like Olivia Twist, I want more! The goal is to post new content every day at 9:10am. It seems like a lofty goal but I know it is doable. So if you are interested in issues affecting black people anywhere in the world and want to share your perspective either in a story, article, news, rant, or whatever, please click here to submit an entry or send us a mail at shadesofusafrica@gmail.com. I think it is about time that Shades of Us really becomes ‘us’ away from just me, myself and I. Don’t you think so? And if you just want to read our stories, check out our various pages at 9:10am every day!
Unveiling the New Shades of Us
SZA with the moodCredit: Giphy Hello You! Let me formally introduce Shades of Us. I cannot believe that it has been almost four years since I started blogging and I never described in any post why Shades of Us exists. I have said it in a million and one ways but never formally said, ‘Oi! This baby girl is here and this is why she was conceived!’ But…that is about to change right now! Stay with me. (In Sam Smith’s voice.) Shades of Us is a media company discussing social issues affecting Africa, Africans and people of African descent, with a view to facilitating open, honest, unfiltered and unbiased conversations that leads to proper introspection, acceptance of strengths and weaknesses and change of perspective towards the greater goal of a new, refined, and stronger black continent and people. Shades of Us was founded on April 28, 2014, by Ramatu Ada Ochekliye (whoot whoot! That is my name!), to address dysfunctional social issues peculiar to black people living in Africa or descendants of migrants who may have voluntarily moved to other continents or who may have been forced, through human trafficking and slavery, to leave. Originally, Shades of Us was called Shades of Brown, with ‘…brown’ representing the convergent color of black skin tone and the earth’s richness. After much reflection, I knew the name had to be changed. First, because Shades of Brown was already popular in many countries and for varying products and services and secondly, getting my brand to stick out from that number was going to be nearly impossible. I discussed with my sisters and friends and we were at the point where using my name for was the most favored option. The reason was a no brainer; I was the only person in the whole world with my name, promoting the brand would be promoting myself and it would have just been easier to get the recognition I wanted. We had almost finally decided on this when I took a step and analyzed the name. I love my name to the moon and back but I wanted to create something that was bigger than me. I wanted something that could grow into a shared vision with the people who felt connected to my stories. So we brainstormed again and came up with Shades of Us. The founding principle of Shades of Us is the belief that all human beings are equal, have the same basic human rights and should be afforded the same respect and opportunities that guarantees the growth and development of each individual. Based on this founding principle, Shades of Us is subscribed to all thirty articles of the Universal Declaration of human rights and works towards promoting these rights for every human being but especially for every black person. Beyond the human rights declaration however, Shades of Us has adopted nine of the seventeen Sustainable Development Goals as focal points of the change to implement. These goals include no poverty, zero hunger, good health and wellbeing, quality education, gender equality, clean water and sanitation, reduced inequalities, peace, justice and strong institutions and being open for partnership for the goals. These goals translate to Goals 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 10, 16 and 17 of the sustainable development goals, which we believe should be the bible of development for all peoples of the world. Of these goals, we extol the virtues of gender equality and reduced inequalities more because we believe that they are springboards to achieving all the other goals we have adopted. We are especially biased towards the issues that affect women and children. This is because we believe that globally, black and brown women and children have been the most disenfranchised in all indices of human development and so, we believe that speaking and acting against societal norms and ills that predominantly affect women and children would redress years of inequality and the drawbacks associated with it. Phew! The last three paragraphs were so serious, right?! I almost felt like I was talking to the United Nations in a bid to get funding for the project. That is in the offing by the way. We have so much work to do! Anyway, you may have noticed I described Shades of Us as a company, right? Well…because it finally is! Whoot whoot! Dancing the gwara gwara! Our registration came through this month after months of debating whether this was the route we wanted to take or not. But…we cannot continue to put out all this original content and hope to get that paper if we are not serious! So… we knew we had to become a business so that we can grow. Even one of the religious scriptures talks about moving from milk to solid food in a parable about maturity. And a great prophet once said, ‘Jungle don mature’. We are that jungle! So our business is open! The question you may ask is, ‘what do you offer?’ The answer is simple. Storytelling. We tell stories for Africa. We mean this literally and as a pidgin statement of exaggeration. Of course we have various methods of disseminating our stories to engender discussion. 1. Blog:Primarily started as a site to air personal grievances, Shades of Us has grown to a magazine of articles, in-depth interviews, news and fictional stories from our writers – and again, that is me, myself and I with each personalities that has a mind of their own – and other writers. 2. Podcast: The Shades of Us podcast is called The Review. We discuss music and movies put out by black people and share our thought on whether they are great, good, subpar or horrible. 3. Video log: This is very personal because it is where we, as Africans say, ‘show ourselves’. And because we are expanding this year, we are introducing new aspects to the company. They include; 1. Films:
Seeking Validation Outside Myself
It has been a little over 40 days since I last put up any content on my blog, podcast or video log. In reality, it has been longer than 40 days since I wrote anything for my blog and even longer since I had a new video on my YouTube channel. So what was the problem? Why did I abandon my babies for more than 40 days? The answer is quite simple…but very complicated. I fell into a rut. You see, I started blogging in 2014 after a friend urged me to go beyond writing on Facebook. I was green-eyed, eager to get my work in front of new audiences and burning with a need to carve a niche for myself. I came at blogging like a child with a piñata; I was excited at the possibilities! As I put out content, the statistics started to excite me. Every day, new people were reading my work! And beyond that, they were liking, commenting, sharing and exposing my thoughts to audiences I didn’t even know existed. I began to receive emails from people in the United States of America, France, Netherland, Japan and more. It didn’t matter that my blog views were minimal (usually around 500 per month). All I cared about was that my work was being read by people around the world. I was elated! I looked at what other bloggers were doing and read stories of how people made money off their blog. I was piqued…but not overly so. I imagined that my content was not ‘worthy’ enough to make any money. Quite frankly, I didn’t even know what to do to make money. I was just happy to be putting out a little bit of me and getting major feedback. As 2015 began to wind down, I thought of diversifying the platforms with which I disseminated my stories. I thought of doing something radio- and television-like. At this point, I was a radio and television presenter in Yola, Adamawa State, Nigeria, and I had decided I was going to leave because I didn’t feel appreciated there. So I wanted to do something that kept me doing the things I loved the most and on platforms that appealed to me. But beyond that, I knew that while many people can adapt to all formats of information, some people just wanted to hear you and others, see you. So I conceived the idea of doing something along these lines to further widen my reach. At the beginning of 2016, I started my podcast which originally was an audio version of my posts on the blog. By April, I shot my first video log. I was beyond excited because I was doing something new, expanding the number of my skills and gearing for that big gig that would change my life; literally. By this point, my blog had begun to do poorly. The number of people reading my pieces dropped. I began to wonder. Was I doing something wrong? Were my posts no longer interesting? Was it too much? But then I rationalized; I didn’t write often; I didn’t have a defined posting schedule; I talked mostly about feminism (which many of my audiences found repulsive); I am a long-winded writer and many people’s attention span wasn’t more than 30 seconds; my posts were serious and about issues that ‘mattered’ etc. While this explained what was happening to my blog, I couldn’t for the life of me explain what was happening to my podcast. The short story…people were just not listening. I could spend hours on end recording, editing and putting it out there and not get a single listen. I was running mad. What could possibly be wrong?! And even though I could rationalize – many Nigerians were not into podcasts yet, there was no mobile data for the heavy files, many had already read the posts I converted to podcast episodes – I didn’t. Instead, I saw it as a failure on my path. The video log was doing really well at this point; for someone just starting on YouTube. Each new video view sent me to cloud nine and left me smiling like a fool all day. But…I couldn’t keep up. It took hours on end to record each episode and editing was the absolute worst. As with everything that has no consistency, my views began to drop. So I was at a place where my blog, podcast and video log were all doing poorly. The irony was that, my blog views kept going up. I say it was doing poorly because the engagements – likes, comments, shares, feedback – were no longer flowing in. Any blogger knows that beyond views, engagements says a lot about your site. When I got to the middle of 2016, I had walked away from a job I originally loved for something I thought was my big break. The offer was juicy, the package was to die for and the opportunities were what I had been waiting for. I was so ready to start a new phase of my life until…I discovered it was a scam. I was hurt. I asked myself questions that I couldn’t answer. I wondered if I had been cursed to remain poor all my life. In that time frame however, I put out my best work on my blog. Pain is my biggest inspiration and so, to drown the contracting walls of my lack of a paying job, I worked harder than ever on my blog. I kept churning out content, putting out stuff, getting my voice out there. The views starting going up again. I was hitting a regular 2000 views per month with great interaction. Then the ‘high’ faded away. I was getting burned out. I didn’t have money. I could barely survive and if I wasn’t living in my father’s house, I would be starving. And because I am a bit of a worrier, I began to long for my days on
Love on the Brain and Everything We Didn’t Do Last Week
Hey you! Last week was super slow! I mean, snails achieved more than we did last week. But…thing were uber tight at our 9 to 5 and we just couldn’t deal. Anyway, how have you been? What was your week like? What got you pissed off? We were angry about many things; from abusive men who think it is okay to be violent to women, to Trump being Trump, to modern day slavery, with Libya in the fore front of the news and more. We are ashamed at what is happening there but the major issue is still why so many Africans leave their home countries for Europe through Libya. We solve those problems, we reduce the instances of human trafficking and modern day slavery in our continent. But we will delve into these at a later date. Full articles coming! So…what else did we focus on last week? Well, the ONLY thing we shared was a new podcast where we reviewed Rihanna’s ‘Love on the Brain’. Have you listened to #TheReview? We promise you that the episode was lit! You should listen! That was our week though. We have new articles coming in this week and we have got two review request; the first being ‘Safe’ by Nigerian Artist, M.I Abaga and the other being Justin Simien’s ‘Dear White People’. So we have a full week ahead. We are on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn and Google+. So…stay connected. Be a part of the family. Tell us how we can be better. And as always, have yourself a great week! Thank you! Best Regards, Ramatu Ada Ochekliye Founder, Shades of Us.
Ending Violence Against Women, Queen Latifah’s U.N.I.T.Y and Closing Long Distances
Hey Roommates! This past week has been…extra! We almost wanted to hide under a rock for a few days. Of course we couldn’t find a rock that would serve us breakfast in bed, with strawberry dipped in chocolate and masseuses kneading all the knots and kinks out of our very weary shoulders and body. So…we worked! Thankfully, last week marked the start of the United Nations 16 Days of Activism; a series of activism-filled-days starting on November 25. As observed globally, the campaigns began with the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women and will end on December 10 with the commemoration of Human Rights Day. We joined in the campaign by demanding an end to violence against women and girls in our #OrangeTheWorld series. We will continue to lend our voices to the upholding ALL human rights for every race, gender, class or religion of people in the world. We also produced two new podcasts on The Review. Though we didn’t plan it, both reviews were around themes and people from the same era; 90s hip hop messaging. We reviewed Queen Latifah’s U.N.I.T.Y and Straight Outta Compton, the biopic about hip hop group, Niggas With Attitude…or as they are popularly known, N.W.A. Guess what? We finally finished our LONG DISTANCE series and received some major feedback about the what happened to the characters. Some people loved what happened to Adon and Jason while others were so pissed off, they wanted to explode. Yes! We are calling you out! You know yourself! How do you think the story should have ended? Share your views in the comments section and let us discuss. And oh! If you haven’t read the series, what are you waiting for? (Ramat, Remimah, be nice! Just drop the link hereinstead of being petty.) Anyway, that was our week. What do you want to see in the new week? Use the comment section to tell us! Thank you for being a part of our crazy! We wouldn’t rock if we didn’t have you! Read all we shared below and have yourself an uber fantastic week! · Here Comes the Bride (Part One, Two, Threeand Four) · Ending Violence Against Women · The Review: U.N.I.T.Y by Queen Latifah; · Why Do Men So Easily Harass Women? · Rape Cases; · Feigning Innocence; · I Was Attacked…And This is My Story; · Zireme’s Story: A Glimpse into Child Abuse and Marriage; · Good Christian People (Part Oneand Two); · Making Itoro a Woman; · The Review: Straight Outta Compton; · Do Sex Workers Deserve to be Abused? · Long Distance: The Finale. Best Regards, Ramatu Ada Ochekliye, Founder, Shades of Us
Long Distance (The Finale)
Two people in a long distance relationship are trying to find each other. An unexpected turn of events tear them apart when they finally do. And it keeps pulling them apart until…they find themselves here. This is the final story. There were three others before this. (Read here, here and here to understand the story…or continue on here 👇) Adon Kato heard the loud voices as she gradually slipped out of consciousness. Where was she? And why were they yelling? ‘You were my best friend! Why on earth would you ever think this is okay?!’ ‘Oh! So it is okay for you to leave her and be with someone else and I can’t be with her? In fact…what the hell are you doing here? Why are you here?!’ Adon could tell Isaac Okiemute’s voice, but who was the other person? Then the memories flooded in. Jason. Jason had been at her door. Jason had come to her. Jason was here! The pain followed. She moaned. Both men stopped shouting. She opened her eyes fully and saw that Jason was driving; pretty fast if her spinning head was anything to go by. If Isaac wasn’t holding her, she was sure she would fall; many times. ‘Are you okay? Are you in pains?’ Jason asked, a trace of uncertainty in his voice. ‘You don’t get to speak to her you bastard! It is your fault that she is here anyway!’ Isaac shouted. Adon caressed his hand. ‘It is okay. We will deal with…’ She couldn’t finish her sentence. Her face scrunched up in pain, and was followed through with a tortured moan. Adon clasped her belly hard and Jason turned in time to see her eyes roll back as she lost consciousness; again. *** Jason was scared! He pressed harder on the accelerator and prayed he didn’t get into an accident. He tried to ignore the fact that Isaac kept saying, ‘Stay with me baby. Stay with me.’ However, he couldn’t ignore the knot in his stomach. When was the last time he felt this much pain? He felt like dying every time he thought of his best friend with his girlfriend. Were they married? Of course they were; they were having a baby! And who was he kidding? He and Isaac had not been friends for a little over a year and the last time he had seen Adon was when she walked out of the hospital in Jos. His girlfriend? He wished! ‘What the hell are you doing?’ Isaac shouted, bringing him out of his musings. He realized he had passed the gate of the hospital. He pressed hard on his brake and watched the pandemonium that ensued as two cars tried to avoid him. By some sheer act of fate, none of the cars collided and he heaved a sigh of relief as he began to reverse. He didn’t care that the drivers of both cars hurled insults at him or that Isaac punctuated all their insults with choice words of his own. Jason focused on getting the car to the emergency unit and as soon as he got there, jumped out to help. Isaac pushed him out of the way as the paramedics rushed to handle the situation. Isaac followed the paramedics as Adon was wheeled into the nearest ward, explaining how they got there in the first place. Jason followed and tried to enter the ward but was shoved out by Isaac. ‘Nobody wants you here. Fucking leave!’ ‘I am not going anywhere. Unless Adon tells me herself that she wants me gone.’ Jason said, calmly. Isaac shoved again. And again. ‘Oh you want to act tough now?! You want to be Mr. Macho?! It is because of you that she is here in the first place! If you don’t leave this instant, we may just get into it.’ And pushed Jason again. ‘Don’t touch me again. I may respect you by keeping my hands to myself but I am not above getting into it. So…don’t. Fucking. Touch. Me. Again.’Jason growled; menacing, angry, ready to pop. Isaac smirked…and pushed him again. This time, Jason threw a punch that connected with Isaac’s jaw. Before anyone could intervene, they were engaged in fisticuffs. The hospital orderlies got between them and kept them apart just as a petite doctor walked in. She gave them the worst stink look they had ever seen in their lives. ‘First off, I will not have a bunch of grown men acting a fool in my unit! I haven’t slept in two days and I am just about to explode! So if you want to fight, go right ahead. But be warned, I will only permit that after Mijah and Umar here have tossed you out of this hospital. I do not have the time to deal with this nonsense, so which is it going to be? Fight club or a sense of maturity?’ Jason wiped the blood seeping towards his eye from the cut on his eyebrow and sat down. Isaac pulled out a handkerchief to stem the blood flow from his split lip. He went to the closest wall and leaned on it. Both men didn’t look at each other but it was clear that they were done fighting. ‘Okay then. For your sakes, I am glad you decided to borrow some sense. Now that I have your attention, we can proceed. I am Dr. Ameera Mas’ud. Which of you is Adon’s husband?’ ‘I am her fiancé.’ Isaac responded, giving Jason a pointed look and daring him to say anything. Jason looked away, willing the tears that formed in his eyes to go away. ‘Okay then. While I would normally have asked for a family member like a parent or sibling, you will have to do for now because we have an emergency on our hands. Due to the trauma of her shock and subsequent fall, there is fetal distress and we have to deliver the baby immediately. Thankfully, she is already
On Bad Fathers, Body Shaming and Eminem’s New Song Featuring Beyoncé
Hey hey! So this is coming a bit late in the day but it is here! How was your week? We hope it was as full and fun as ours was? ‘What did we do?’ you ask. A lot…even if we say so our self. We reviewed Eminem’s new song featuring Beyoncé (Yes! Beyoncé!) It is called ‘Walk on Water’ and the video just dropped today, November 20, 2017. So we got in quick, right? And we know you might be wondering why we were doing a review of Eminem’s song since Shades of Us is about Africa, Africans and people of African descent – black and brown people basically – but Eminem is an honorary black person! He is one of us y’all! Any hoo, we also reviewed Ride Along starring Ice Cube and Kevin Hart on The Review. It was lit! And from the blog, we shared posts about dealing with body shaming, fatherhood(or the lack of it) and the fourth installment of our Here Comes the Bride series. We really should finish that! We promised to conclude the Long Distance series and put up a new video but…life happened. We feel ashamed but our hands were really tied. They will come up this week. We promise! So here is everything we shared last week. From the blog; Why Athletes Need Formal Education; Here Comes the Bride 4; The Foreign Certificate Syndrome; Dealing with Body Shaming; Why We Support the Eradication of Poverty; The World’s Worst Fathers On The Review; That’s What I Like By Bruno Mars; Barbershop: The Next Cut; The Birth of a Nation; Ride Along; For Colored Girls; Walk on Water by Eminem featuring Beyoncé; And from the YouTube channel; The Launch; The Un-Invited Wedding Guest; My body, Your Problem; We also celebrated the Nigerian Bobsled team that qualified for the Winter Olympics happening in Russian in 2018. They are officially the first team in African to qualify for the Winter Olympics and they did it all by themselves. What an inspiration! This week! We already promised that Long Distance will come up but we can go further to say that you can read the final edition on Tuesday at 10am on the blog! Excited? We sure are! As usual, there will be two episodes of The Review this week and tentatively, a new video. Ei! We can see your skepticism! We will try! Ha! So much pressure. Any hoo…that was a summary of last week and a preview of what this week would look like. What topic do you want us to discuss? Share your ideas in the comment section and we will get to it! So…have yourself a great week! Thank you. Always Excited, Ramatu Ada Ochekliye, Founder, Shades of Us
On Getting Older, Future Families, Creating Records and Adapting to Culture Shocks
Hi people! How have you been?! So starting this week, we want to try something. Thing is, we tried before but got quite lazy and it never hit the ground running. We know; shame! Anyway, starting today, we will be doing an overview of all the posts we shared the previous week and what the new week will feel like. Excited?! So let’s get to it. Last week, we started by reminding you that you are beautiful as you are and went on to produce two new podcasts. We reviewed Arlissa’s Getting older and Darnell Martin’s, Cadillac Records. They had a central theme of finding yourself and we hope you caught that. We went on to share two posts from our Dear Future Family series, with focus on letters to the future sonand daughter. We also shared our newest video log on adapting to culture shocks. You can find an overview of all the posts shared below; Dear Future Family: Letter to My son; The Review: Getting Older by Arlissa; Adapting to Culture Shocks; Dear Future Family: Letter to My Daughter; The Review: Rick Famuyiwa’s Dope; Dear Feminists, This too Shall Pass; For My Super Fans; The Review: Cadillac Records; The Unseen Woman; Meet the Amazing 18 Year Old Championing Children’s Causes; The Review: Wait for Me; Dealing with Marriage Pressure; Etiquette for Semi-Formal Meetings; Long Distance 3; The Review: With The Ring; When Bad Things Happen to Good People; The Review: Joromi by Simi; Shades of Us: The Return. So that was our week last week. This week, we will be sharing the last installment of Long Distance. That story needs to end y’all…and after more than two years. Ha! We need to do better! This week also, we are supporting the #KickOffKaduna campaign for under-privileged kids in Kaduna State, Nigeria, and we will tell you why. The Review returns this week and we have a Hausa song that we will be discussing. What movie do you want to see reviewed? Hit us up in the comment section and we will get to it. And, there mightbe a new video log this week! Fingers crossed. Make sure to follow Shades of Us across social media. We are EVERYWHERE! Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram and Google+. So if you aren’t following, you are wrong! (We kid….or do we?) Any hoo…we wish you a great week ahead. Remember that you matter…no matter what the noise outside says. Hugs and Kisses, Ramat.
